Infant Adoption F.A.Q.‘s
Frequently Asked Questions about Infant Adoption
Click on any question to view its answer.
Click on any question to view its answer.
Dear Birth Mom,
Thank you for taking the time to consider us and look at our book! We truly cannot even begin to comprehend the difficulty of choosing the people who will parent your child. We hope that this small glimpse of our life and personalities will help make that decision a little bit easier. We welcome any questions and hope to have the opportunity to meet with you.
Let us start by telling you how we came to the decision to adopt. Rewind time about 9 years, Nick and I (Joyce) were still newlyweds and we made the decision that I was going to start school to become a nurse, and that we were going to wait to start a family until I was done. I just knew that I would be too distracted by littles to be able to focus enough on school to finish. Well here we are almost a decade later and I am an RN with an AA, ASN, and BSN! Who knew that it would take so long.
Now that we are ready to expand our family we have decided that we will become parents through adoption. Both of our lives have been touched by adoption and even while we were still dating we were happy to learn that we both wanted to adopt a child or two someday. We are ready to begin our family and that “someday” is here! We decided that rather than investigating infertility stuff after trying to get pregnant for a while, that we would instead direct our focus to having a child through adoption. We truly believe that God will put our book in the hands of the woman who is carrying the child that we are meant to adopt! It is hard to believe it, but we have been together for more than 10 years since we fell in love in our early 20’s and decided to get married. We first met at a swing dance through mutual friends who had just started dating each other. As we later learned, we were both relieved at the time to learn that the other already had a love interest and wasn’t looking for anything other than a friend. With that aside, we all enjoyed a long night of dancing; working up a big appetite. Late dinner naturally followed, and soon dancing then dinner became a weekly occurrence. One fateful night after several months went by, our friends were out of town so just the two of us decided to go together. At dinner we ended up talking for hours, sustained by free coffee refills until somewhere around 6am. We could not be separated after that night. After almost two years of dating, we got married in 2007 and purchased our home where we still live.
We are both artistic and musical, and dedicate a portion of our time, skills, and money to our church that does so much practical good in our community. We love spending time with family, friends, and our dog! Flopsy is teasingly referred to as our fur-child by many people who are close to us. We love taking her with us on adventures and playing with her at home.
Thank you for taking the time to look over our profile and considering us.
Joyce & Nick
Thank you for taking the time to look through our family book. We cannot imagine everything you are thinking and feeling at this time in your lives but thank you for considering placing your child for adoption so that we have the opportunity to have a child of our own to love and raise.
We met through a professional match-making service while living in Idaho when we had both just about given up on ever finding that special someone and were instantly completely comfortable together. We dated for almost 3 years before Michael worked up the courage to propose and it took Robyn less than 3 minutes to say yes. We were married just over a year later and moved in to Michael’s house.
A year and a half in to our marriage Michael’s company transferred him to Portland, Oregon where we have now been living for almost 3 years. For 3 years we struggled with unexplained infertility and were unable to have a biological child. With finding each other later in life, whenever we discussed starting our family we always felt like adoption would be a potential option.
Whether it is Michael’s love of engineering, college football, and hockey, or Robyn’s love of nursing, crafts and reading we feel we have so much to offer a child. We know that together we can overcome challenges and that we have a world of love and patience to offer. We were both raised with a strong sense of what family means, both those you are born to and those you meet in life, and we look forward to a child and their birthparents completing our family circle in whatever form that takes.
We hope you enjoy reading the story of our lives and beginning to get to know us.
Michael & Robyn
We want to thank you for taking the time to consider us as adoptive parents for your baby. We know it is no small decision and we truly appreciate the strength and courage you are showing through this process. We are deeply honored that you are reading our story.
We meet in our first week of college. There was an immediate connection as we sat in the dorm and talked for hours with ease. After dating for 4 months, we were engaged and then married 3 years later.
Kathryn has had surgery for ovarian cysts. Though the surgery was successful, we have not been able to get pregnant. After fertility testing and some attempts of IVF with no success, we have decided to add to our family through adoption. We have worked extremely hard to eliminate the debt we accumulated from college costs and now feel we are in a good position financially to adopt.
We have enjoyed the time we have had together as a family, just the two of us and our pets, but we feel we are ready to share our love and our world with a child.
Adam is an easy going always optimistic personality! He will make a great dad because he is kind, patient, and encouraging with everyone he knows. He is always able to stay level headed even through the most hectic times. Kathryn is extremely detailed and always has her actions planned three steps ahead! She will be a great mom because she is caring, mindful, and supportive. She always looks out for those around her and helps them through their difficult times.
Together, we make a great team and support system.
We are a family who loves to travel, go to sporting events, camp, spend time with our families and friends and just have fun together!
I grew up with my younger sister and brother (Jennifer and Edward). My parents (Cliff and Gail) still live in the house we were raised. My uncles, aunts, and cousins lived within 15 minutes of our house and you could always expect someone to stop by on a weekday evening or all day on the weekends. We had a small farm with chickens, pigs, and cows. I was expected to help by working on the weekends which included fixing fences to running to the house to bring out water or lemonade for my dad and uncles. We would hay the fields during the summer, this is where I learned to drive a tractor and drive a truck at young age.
When I started school, I wanted to be involved in everything. I joined the Cub Scouts as a 1st grader and continued through high school where I became an Eagle Scout. I loved sports and played baseball, basketball and football through grade school. When I was in middle school, I decided to try wrestling to help me be a better football player. After three years of wrestling, I fell in love with the challenges. When I graduated high school, I had decided to go to Portland State University and walked onto the PSU Wrestling team. I have always loved competition and wanted to give back and help foster that love of sports. For over 10 years I have been an assistant coach on both the freshman football team and the high school wrestling team. I love to camping, fishing, crabbing and the occasional hunt. When I need a moment to relax and feel comfortable, I know I can always go home and spend time with Kathryn. Kathryn and I enjoy the relaxing at home with our pets.
I spent most of my childhood in Arizona with my sister Cassie, parents Valerie and John. I was born in Salt Lake City, Utah. We moved to Virginia when I was one and then we moved to Arizona when I was 5. We had a pool and always had people over to swim. Every year I had a pool party for my September birthday. When I was 9 we moved to New Mexico for less than a year and then we moved up to Beaverton, Oregon. When I was 11, I became CPR certified as a babysitter as I have always loved children and couldn’t wait until till I could spend more time with them. I was the primary babysitter for our neighborhood as well as the only pet sitter. I have also always had a soft spot for animals. I have never met an animal that I haven’t liked or that hasn’t liked me. We have always had pets when I was growing up and I can’t remember a time we didn’t have at least two dogs. As I have gotten older my love for children and animals have only grown. I have been lucky enough for Adam and myself to have a many animals to enhance our time together. I have been able to enjoy my time with my two nieces and nephew and I am ready to add another little angel to our family.
Adam & Kathryn
We want to begin with expressing our deep gratitude to you for taking the time to read our profile and getting to know us a little better as you make a very critical and important life decision to choose your adoptive family. We honor your courage and strength and know that if you choose us, your child will be raised with an abundance of love, safety, joy, security and opportunity.
We have each traveled a long road in life, one that has been filled with moments of the extraordinary to moments of challenges and sorrow, and it is each of these moments that have made us into the compassionate, conscious, giving and dedicated people we are today. We waited a long time to find each other and the day we did was the day a whole new life journey began to take place.
One could say it was a “love at first sight” experience and we believe that a deeper soul-to-soul connection took place knowing there was a greater purpose for why we came together. Despite the many obvious differences that existed between us, the ease and flow of sharing and communicating with each other, the non-stop laughter and the discovery of how much we actually had in common all affirmed we were “it” for each other. And it has been a blessing.
Tami is a Jewish girl from New York, a global jet setter, all about social justice and has a very diverse community of family and friends. Goldry is a country-living mechanic from Boulder, Colorado. In some ways we made no sense and yet now in every way we make complete sense. We share a love that is genuine and an indescribable bond that is based on mutual respect and honoring of who we are as individuals and who we are as a couple. We are quite the force! We laugh every time we tell people that we met on the dating app Tinder. Tinder doesn’t necessarily have the reputation of being the online dating source to find your life partner but it worked for us! And we are so grateful for it because without it we may not have ever found each other.
Tami has always known she was born to be a mother and it is evident by the professional path she chose. She has spent the past 25+ years dedicating her life to children and youth around the globe and many will say she has already been a mother to many. The impact she has had on the lives of many inspired a dear friend and former colleague in Kenya, Africa to name her daughter after her so that she would never forget Tami and 18 years later Tami has been a huge part of her namesake’s life by helping to raise her in ways she could from afar.
Goldry has a stepson, Josh, who was born with cerebral palsy. Goldry helped raise Josh since he was 2 (now 24). Goldry believes that raising a child with disabilities strengthened who he is as a person and raising Josh was a major life teacher. To this day Josh continues to call Goldry his father and they share a very special relationship.
We knew right away that we wanted to have a child and that we would be the best parents ever. Between Tami’s natural mothering abilities and Goldry’s playful and hardworking spirit, we would rock as a mom and dad together. It didn’t take long before we conceived our first child and 13 weeks into the pregnancy we experienced our first miscarriage. It was devastating yet we believe it strengthened us as a couple. We learned that due to Tami’s age the quality of her eggs had diminished and conceiving naturally would be very difficult so we decided to do a round of fertility treatment that led to a 2nd miscarriage. We had both always thought of adopting one day and it was actually one of the things that we realized we had in common. It became clear after the two miscarriages our path to becoming parents was being chosen for us and adoption was to always be the way we would create our own family.
Tami about Goldry:
My husband is amazing. The way he loves me is a gift. When friends first started to meet him the most common words used to describe him were open, genuine and loving. He is a simple man who grounds me. He is super talented and great with his hands. He can fix just about everything and I love to watch his creative juices flow when he starts building or making something. His name is so fitting cause he has the biggest heart of gold. He has an incredible brotherhood of friends who have each other’s backs in ways you don’t often see amongst men. He is hard working and one of the most supportive people I know. And one of the things I love about him is his playful spirit. I often tease him and call him my “man-child”; he is a man in all the perfect ways and it is his innocence, playfulness and adventurous spirit that makes life with him the best. I couldn’t ask for a better partner and I couldn’t ask for a more special man to be the father of our child.
Goldry about Tami:
My wife is loving in every way. She always has others in mind before herself. She always has my back and is my greatest champion. She has a wonderful spirit and I know she will make the best mom ever. I am inspired by her commitment for humanity and I am honored to be her husband. My friends couldn’t believe that such a worldly, wonderful, responsible and beautiful woman would choose me, the redneck, hippie mechanic! I love my wife very much and can’t wait to be a dad that will back his incredible wife as a mom.
Before We Go:
We really are so excited and ready to become parents. We promise to love, honor and cherish your birth child and you as the birth parent(s). We believe the healthiest way for adoption is through openness and commit to creating a plan that works for all. It is also our commitment to raise this child connected to your family heritage as they share in ours. Our child will be raised with a strong sense of family and community and will live a full and rich life filled with adventures and life-changing experiences. When it comes right down to it we will make rock’n parents who will raise healthy, grounded, loving, responsible and compassionate children just like their adoptive parents!
We thank you for taking this courageous step and for giving us the opportunity to fulfill our dreams of becoming parents. Just know how special we believe you are.
We want you to know how brave we think you are, taking this step for yourself to explore the option of making an adoption plan your beautiful child. We appreciate that you’re considering having our family take this journey along with you and we are excited to be able to get to know you better. We would be honored to meet you.
We have been married for almost 4 years, and have been together for over 6 years now. We met online and quickly realized after our first date that we had many mutual friends but had never met each other in person. What a fun discovery to realize that we went to the same college, attended the same football games & parties and never remembering if we’d met each other until the internet brought us together. Scott made Stephanie home-made sushi & she was sold. Stephanie brought Scott to her pedicure appointment and he got his toes painted in Portland Blazer colors. It was a match made in heaven.
Stephanie can’t remember a time when she didn’t want to be a mother. She has a tendency to mother her friends, her friend’s children, her clients and anyone who needs a motherly hug. She’s a caregiver by nature, and that is why all of the children in our life call her “Aunty Stephanie” whether they’re related to her or not! Scott, being a Middle School teacher (and therefore still semi-permanently stuck in his middle-school ways two decades later!), loves joking around and having fun with his students. He’s also a personal jungle gym to any number of kids who visit our home – what’s more fun than climbing on Uncle Scott’s back for a cowboy ride or swinging in circles in his arms until he gets dizzy? We are fortunate to have many children in our lives as you will see in the pages of this book!
Stephanie was born with a uterine birth defect that was not discovered until she was older. Even with corrective surgery this caused a lot of problems with conceiving and keeping a pregnancy. After over two years of trying to start a family, even with additional medical intervention, we knew it was time to explore other options towards reaching our dream of becoming parents.
We are fortunate to have a lot of experience with adopted children through Stephanie’s family. We have four nephews, all adopted through the foster care system in California, that we adore and we can’t imagine our family being complete without them! We only wish they lived a little closer so we could love on them more often! Stephanie also remembers going to the hospital with her Aunt and Uncle to pick up her two adopted cousins (a few days after they were born!) & the subsequent years where their adoptive mothers & families got together with our extended family for picnics, bowling and holidays. She knows, from having this experience when younger, that open adoption is the optimal choice for both an adoptive child and the birth family – the more people to love a child the better! Boys and Girls Aid and their work with adoptive and birth families felt like the right fit for us from the start, and here we are now – ready to take the next step!
Scott about Stephanie: Your child will be getting an incredible mother in Stephanie. She has played a key role in the lives of many of her friends’ children’s lives. She is caring, nurturing and has a tireless desire to meet the needs of others. She has an amazing talent for multitasking and keen eye for detail and loves making our house into a cozy home that everyone feels welcome in. She’s our family chef and makes amazing nutritious meals throughout the week, and she can even get me to eat those vegetables that I didn’t realize I liked until she made them for me. She also possesses a very useful set of skills from her job as a Pediatric Dietitian. Her day is filled with knowing how to provide care for children, and making sure they get the nutrition that they need to grow and get a healthy start in life. She is a very loving partner with whom I am lucky to be able to share my life.
Stephanie about Scott: Scott is one of the most helpful and patient people I have ever had the privilege to meet, and lucky me – he’s my husband! I love that he wakes up cheerful in the morning (I have yet to figure out exactly how to do this myself!) and is ready for whatever adventure the day has to bring. He’s generous with his time, and always ready to lend a helping hand to a friend or coworker. I love it when we run into his current and former students in our community - they all want a hug from “Mr H”. I love his practical & problem-solving sense of how to best to accomplish a task or challenge, and his wide pool of friends who he can call when he knows he’s in over his head. I cannot wait to see him as the fun, adventurous, and affectionate father I know he will be.
We both enjoy constantly working on a life that is balanced. Working, laughing, taking care of our home, playing, giving, exploring and relaxing are all included in that balance for our family – sometimes certain things take a higher priority and more of our time than others, but that is life! Mutually we love, love, love to explore new restaurants & farmers’ markets and cook fun foods for each other (or our friends!) & we hope to share this love of a good meal with our child. Together we enjoy regular visits with our local families, going on weekend trips to the Oregon coast, camping, watching movies, playing games (just the 2 of us or with friends), and watching our nieces, nephews & our friends’ children so their parents can have a night off. We also recognize that in order to be whole people we need to have interests of our own, and we both enjoy the freedom to do things we enjoy individually and with our close friends. Stephanie likes to watch her favorite TV shows, go wine tasting, read & relax. Scott enjoys golfing, attending YELP Elite events, hunting down a new BBQ joint, playing volleyball with coworkers and attending local sports events.
We can’t wait to welcome a child into our lives. We can’t wait to join our friends and our siblings in their kid-tastic adventures and activities with our own child there to join in on all the fun! Thank you so much for considering us as parents for your child. Please enjoy the pictures and stories of our family that we have to share.
Scott and Stephanie
Dear Expectant Birth Parent,
Hi and thank you for this opportunity to share ourselves and a little bit about our lives. We are Steve and Annie and we hope to share our values, background, lifestyle and parenting dreams.
We’ve been together for a long while now. We first met in 1984 and reconnected in 2002 as neighbors. Ours was truly a “small town boy/girl next door fall in love” story. Annie delighted in Steve’s devotion to his grandparents and fix-it talents. Steve enjoyed Annie’s spunk and nurturing side. Our independent spirits, strong family ties and humble natures drew us close to one another - a “fit” that came naturally. Over several years our love and appreciation for one another grew deep.
You’ll hear those close to us say that at our wedding, it was clear that best friends married each other. Our wedding in June 2008, was at our home, in our big backyard… during a record hot (105 degrees!) day. Thank goodness for the shade of the large fir trees. We each have one younger sibling, Mike (Annie’s) and Dana (Steve’s) and they performed our ceremony. Many laughs, happy tears, family traditions (including cupcakes) were shared in the circle of friends and “framily”. Maverick, our dog, participated too!
The easiest part of our relationship is being with one another. We spend a lot of time outdoors and on our farm. Road trips are a favorite way for us to explore places, recharge our “batteries” and learn about different cultures to broaden our minds and hearts. Our strong ties to the land, an unlimited capacity to love, and a deep dedication to one another inspire us to grow our family.
We learned a couple of years ago that having children biologically was not in the cards for us. We remained hopeful and trusting, knowing that families are made in all different ways and adoption would be our option. Adoption is not new to us. Annie’s Grandma was adopted. We have friends that were adopted themselves, some made adoption plans as birth parents, and others adopted to grow their families. We see adoption as BOTH loving a child AND extending our family’s circle to a child’s biological family. Simply, we believe that love is unlimited and unbounded by worldly ties and labels.
We want you to know that we are prepared and excited to nurture, love and empower a child, giving her or him (or twins!) the best life we possibly can. Ours is a warm and loving home where we’re super crafty surrounded by an incredible circle of friends and family ready to be playmates, cousins, “aunties” and “uncles”. We have wide, open spaces and parks for play around us and we are able to provide many opportunities for education, activities, hobbies - like we had as kids - that will encourage our child’s development and support their special essence. We (and our 2 furbabies, Maverick the dog and Queen the cat) are thrilled to expand our family through adoption and to grow love!
A special note from Annie:
I’ll start by saying that on my father’s side, I am #45 of 48 grandchildren. That’s a big group! Most of these 1st cousins of mine have children and some have grandchildren. We’re a large, happy, loving mix of different shapes, sizes, colors, abilities and personalities. This makes for wonderful and dynamic relationships (and yummy potluck meals!).
Since my early 20’s, I’ve had a “feeling” that adoption would be how I would come to be a mother. Because my Grandma’s adoption story was shared openly with me as a child, I understood adoption as one of the precious ways of being family. My Mom is the world’s biggest believer that if you set your mind to something, you can make it happen. She taught me commitment, humility, faith and tenacity… and how to decorate for Christmas! I learned about integrity and courage from my Dad. He gave the best hugs. My parents believed that learning came from good schooling, mastery of chores and plenty of things to do: dance lessons, art classes, piano lessons, gardening, service projects, crafts, Girl Scouts, bikes, bikes, more bikes, roller skating, building forts, and many pets. I look forward to providing a great education, full of opportunities for self exploration for the best fit and most empowering experiences for our child.
Steve’s quiet confidence in expressing his true self attracted me to him. What you see is what you get with Steve: strong, smart, kind, loyal and steady. The clincher for me was witnessing his unwavering commitment to spend time nearly every weekend helping his Grandpa AJ with his farm, not because Steve was asked, but because it was “just what we do for each other and it’s fun”. His deep dedication to family and amazing mechanical abilities will make him a terrific father. And the toys he’s saved from his childhood, oh my! what fun he and our kiddo will have playing with these! If he were a Care Bear stuffed animal, his name would be “Humble Bear”.
One of the many things I’m excited to do as a mother is a gratitude ritual. We have a bedtime ritual of “3 Greats and 2 Thankfuls” where we share 3 great things that happened in our day and 2 things that we are really thankful for about our lives. These are like prayers to us. I am so excited to share this and many more special, little, sweet traditions with our kiddo.”
A special note from Steve:
I am the oldest and I have a close group of cousins too, just not as many as Annie. Growing up, I was close to my sister and two very influential people in my life: my
On my Mom’s side, her step-dad, Grandpa B and I made applesauce together, played baseball, made birdhouses and fixed bicycles. I learned how to “fix things” from him. He was an amazing father-figure as well as an amazing grandparent. On my Dad’s side, Grandpa H, taught me about farming, taking care of buildings and machinery and anything else that needed to be done. I worked on the farm; I played at the farm. I loved every moment of learning from and being around them. I was lucky to share this deep bond. They were honest, say-it-like-it-is types who would let me try new things, learn from fixing my mistakes because it would help me grow. I want to pass on independent thinking, how to problem solve, and the great feeling that comes afterward of satisfaction and accomplishment.
I learned honesty from my Mom and enjoyed the warm and fuzzy bedtime rituals and her pot roasts! My Mom was the emotional part of our family. My Dad brought humor into the house. I learned perseverance from my Mom and it paid off… it took awhile, but I waited for the right woman and got her!
Annie is such a good communicator and incredible planner, dreaming up wonderful adventures for us. I call her the “idea generator”. I love her creative eye and when she dances goofy in the kitchen during dinner-making time. One of her best qualities that will make her a fantastic mom is her genuine interest and caring for other people. She wants the very best for people and moves mountains to help them realize their dreams. She has this stash of books from her childhood and she is so excited to read to our little one. If she were a Care Bear stuffed animal, she’d be “Share Bear” because of her generous spirit.
We’re big on bonding traditions like our annual camping and boating trips. Annie’s family has a large, fun gathering every 4th of July. We do Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas in a big way with friends and family. Adventures are always planned for birthdays and in summer, we participate in our small town’s annual weekend festival of a parade, fun-run, food carts, games, and live music. I’m really excited to share all of these special times with our child.
I am most excited about sharing life’s day to day, fun activities - the little things - that build up over time to form a loving, respectful bond and heaps of memories. I want our child to have a similar experiences that I did growing up - driving tractor, riding bikes, making things, playing with cousins in the park, growing a garden, learning sports. I’m excited to foster creativity and the reward of working with your hands to make stuff.
Through sharing his or her adoption story, I will do all I can to be sure that our child can be proud of who they are and how we came to be family. I grew up in a blended family, blessed with everyone sharing different talents, traditions and traits, and feel this is what makes a family, family.
We know that family bonds are expressed in many vibrant and different ways and that all paths lead to love. We’re excited to expand our circle of love by being parents and to be blessed with the opportunity to be a momma and a daddy and share the fortunate opportunities we’ve been given. Our hearts are open and grateful, filled with hope as we await how our family will grow and the moments of watching, listening, loving and helping a little person grow into the magnificence of who they are meant to be.
We pray that you are feeling hopeful and wish you well in finding the love and support you need along your path in making your best and empowered choices.
Thank you for this moment that has brought us together to share this time. We honor your strength, conviction and courage on your journey. Whether our time together is brief or grows into a lifetime, know that our prayers and best wishes go with you in your adoption planning.
Take good care of your precious self.
Annie & Steve