Adoption Frequently Asked Questions
Do you have questions about adoption?
We have answers.
People have often have an array of questions about adoption. Following are answers to the most common ones. If you have other questions that are not answered below, please feel free to call us any time, day or night.
To speak to a counselor right now you can:
Call us at 503.542.2392 or toll free at 877.932.2734
Does it cost anything to meet with you?
No. All services to birthparents are free of charge.
What if I am not sure that adoption is the right choice for me?
Our counselors can help you decide whether parenting, adoption or abortion is best for you. They have accurate information about all three options. If you choose to make a parenting or abortion plan, your counselor can provide you with referrals to community organizations that offer assistance with the option you choose. Boys & Girls Aid is an all-options agency and believes that you have the right to choose the plan that best suits your needs. However, we will only discuss the options you are interested in exploring.
Someone told me that if I choose adoption, that means I don’t care about my child. Is that true?
Absolutely not. Every woman must make the decision that is best for her and her child. For some women, that may mean making a parenting plan. For other women, that means making an adoption plan. Adoption is not an easy decision, and you will feel sadness afterward. Women choose to make an adoption plan for a number of reasons. You may be concerned that you don’t have the resources to care for your child. You may have education or career plans that would be changed by parenting a child right now. You may already have children and aren’t sure you can provide for another child. Whatever your reasons are, adoption is not a decision that is made lightly. Although it isn’t right for everyone, adoption can be a very good decision. In the words of one birthmother, “It takes a lot more love to plan an adoption. Even though it’s been hard, I’ve never been sorry. Not once.”
What is open adoption?
Open adoption is when there is some information or contact between the birthparent(s) and adoptive family. There are different levels of openness, and there is no right or wrong open adoption plan. Openness can include choosing the adoptive family, having contact with the family before and during birth, talking with the family on the phone or through email, receiving letters and/or pictures as your child grows up, or having visits with the adoptive family and your child. Openness gives you the opportunity to know your child and the adoptive family. It allows you to be part of your child’s life.
Who do I need to involve in this process?
Regarding your family and friends: You can involve anyone you want. If you would like support from your family and friends, they are welcome to be part of this plan with you. If you don’t want others to be involved, that is also your choice. You are considered legally emancipated by the state of Oregon from your parents when it comes to making decisions about your pregnancy.
Regarding the birthfather: We encourage birthfather participation whenever possible. However, every situation is different, and we will work with you to arrange a level of involvement with the birthfather that is comfortable for you as well as legally appropriate. In Oregon, you may choose not to involve the birthfather at all unless he has done certain things required by Oregon law to show that he is the father. If the birthfather is married to you, he is considered a legal father, and an adoption cannot happen without his consent (except in certain circumstances). If the birthfather is participating in the adoption plan, he may receive many of the same services as you do. Boys & Girls Aid believes that it is generally best to have the birthfather involved, particularly for his consent to the adoption and to obtain medical history from him. Note: This is only a brief overview of birthfather legal issues. Your counselor will discuss your situation further with you.
Can I keep things confidential?
All services are confidential. Only non-identifying information about adoptive families and birthparents will be shared with either party as part of the adoption process. We will not share identifying information at any time without your permission to do so. If you choose an open adoption, you can decide whether to share identifying information directly with the adoptive family.
What do you need to know about the birthfather?
We encourage birthfather participation and would like as much information as possible about him. If he is participating in the planning process, he will fill out many of the same papers as you do. If he is not, we ask that you complete as much of them as you can. We can also send papers to the birthfather by mail if you prefer. Although we believe that it is ideal for both birthparents to be involved in the adoption of their child, we understand that everyone’s circumstances are different, and that birthfather involvement is not always possible.