The Garcia’s were a Hispanic family with one young daughter.
They very much wanted a son and when they chose to adopt, they hoped for a child who shared their cultural background. This factor was also very important to Vanessa, who very much desired to preserve her Hispanic heritage through the adoptive placement of her son.
There were several meetings before the birth and after the birth of the child. Vanessa experienced a great deal of instability in her life so it was especially important to her that the adoptive family she chose not only share common Hispanic heritage but also have strong extended family bonds and be members of an active church community.
This has been a very successful placement with much appreciation on both sides, for the decision that they mutually made and carried out.
The Goldberg’s were a rural family, the father a timber worker and the mother a skilled administrative aide.
Shyne, was a single mother raising a five year old daughter alone. Shyne believed she could not adequately provide care and support for two children and continue to work full-time.
The birthmother and adoptive family met in the hospital and formed a close, respectful bond and instant positive rapport. The birthmother expressed gratitude and felt certain she had chosen the right family for her son. The adoptive parents have continued to maintain a relationship with Boys & Girls Aid, and have assisted at times with our adoption training. Today the baby boy is thriving and enjoys a special bond with his father – which is always a pleasure to see.
Becca and Mike’s pregnancy followed a tumultuous path.
The two had been a couple but Mike, the birthfather, went away to school not knowing that his girlfriend was pregnant with their child. After the child’s birth, the birthfather returned to find that his girlfriend had a new baby and wanted assistance in making a plan. The couple took the baby home from the hospital but after a few weeks, they called to ask for an adoptive placement. Both were college students pursuing academic and career goals and parenthood was
not in their plans.
They chose a mature couple who were already raising one teenage boy from the adoptive father’s previous marriage. The maturity and stability of this family was a key factor in Becca and Mike’s decision. The teenage boy proved to be an exemplary big brother. Becca and Mike enjoy an ongoing relationship with the adoptive family. Together they have shared trips to the zoo and regularly correspond via email.
When you meet Hannah, you see a poised, attractive young woman brimming with confidence.
But behind those bright eyes is a young woman who has lived a life of turmoil and angst in an unsafe environment with little adult support. She spent her high school years struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts; concerned by her poor attendance and life circumstances, her high school counselor referred 17-year-old Hannah to the Transitional Living Program (TLP) at Boys & Girls Aid.
Hannah was unsure at first, but Troy Cressy, TLP counselor, convinced her to “give it a shot.” Hannah lived first with a host family and then with friends, but by age 18 she had her own apartment, a place to call home and a place where she feels safe. Troy helped Hannah learn about cooking, shopping, money management, relationships—the life lessons young people need. With Troy’s help, Hannah worked on her personal issues and explored post-high school education. Ask Hannah to identify the most important aspect of TLP and she’ll say, “Support and mutual respect.”
Remarkably, Hannah has never abused drugs or alcohol. Hannah believes, “You have to step back and say, ‘That is not the person I want to be.’ And you have to break the cycle.” Hannah is one of the first in her extended family to graduate from high school and stay clean. She plans to attend community college next fall and study social work – something she always wanted to pursue but seemed impossible before spending time in the Boys & Girls Aid Transitional Living Program. “I look at how much I’ve achieved in TLP and I think, ‘I’ve come so far, I can do what I’ve always wanted to do!’ ”
Hannah has reconnected with her mother, older sister and her family. “My nephews mean everything to me,” she says. “I want to be a positive influence in their lives.” Hannah’s mother is proud of what she has accomplished and continues to achieve. Most importantly, Hannah is proud of her own progress, her strength and independence.
He’d been bounced around for more than 12 years, from home to home.
At the tender age of two, Kyle was separated from his brothers and sisters. For the next nine years, Kyle moved in and out of foster care, never staying in one home long enough to feel like he belonged.
When Kyle was 11, he found hope for a new life with relatives who planned to adopt him. What a disappointment it was when they changed their minds.
Next, Kyle was sent to a therapeutic group home for almost two years. A family seemed farther away than ever as Kyle entered his teens. But Kyle was identified by “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids”, a national program that partners with local agencies like Boys & Girls Aid to find adoptive families for children like Kyle.
It was then that Kyle met Boys & Girls Aid adoption recruiter, Cindy Logan, who became his advocate. Cindy was determined to find Kyle a permanent, loving home and spent weeks diligently following all leads. Finally, she found what she was looking for—an uncle who lived in Montana. Cindy immediately called Kyle’s Uncle Bob. In all the time Kyle had been in foster care, Uncle Bob had never been contacted by a social service agency. He and his family had never known how they could help his nephew. They immediately agreed to consider adopting Kyle.
Finally, at age 13, Kyle went to live with his aunt, uncle and cousins in Montana, where he is thriving. He has re-connected with his relatives, and has even met some family members he never knew he had.
Through focused advocacy, Boys & Girls Aid was able to find a permanent, loving home for Kyle. With the support of his new family, Kyle plans to go to college and has his sights set on becoming an actor.
“I know my aunt and uncle love me,” says Kyle. “I finally have a place I can call home.”
Piper left home at sixteen.
But on a rainy Friday in February, she graduated from our Pettygrove Residential program and went home with her mom for the first time in nearly two years.
Sitting with Piper, we sip bottled water and chat about a faux-leather bomber jacket she’s been eyeing. She laughs outright when asked about getting her driver’s license. That particular milestone can wait – Piper has achieved plenty in the past six months. Last Friday, she walked at her high school graduation and her application to the University of Oregon is on its way in the mail.
Passing the afternoon with this bright, articulate, young person, it’s hard to align her chaotic past with her promising future. Homelessness, arrest, anger and defiance – like many of the young women in our Pettygrove program, Piper’s past is filled with these themes. When asked about how her life changed trajectory, Piper speaks freely about the Pettygrove Residential program.
Referencing a favorite piece of art she made while staying at Pettygrove, Piper explains the elements of the program that helped her transform her future. “The head here represents the program and the people that are helping kids. They are blowing all these things into us – compassion, patience, strength – and instilling these things into us so we can grow up and become women.”
Piper stayed just under nine months in our Pettygrove Residential program. In this program, girls who are in the custody of the Oregon Youth Authority live together cooperatively under the supervision of our trained staff. Girls receive group and individual counseling and develop the skills they need to end a cycle of destructive behavior and move towards a successful future.
When asked about her future, and the role our Pettygrove Residential program played in her young life, Piper is hopeful. “Being here taught me that you are influenced by what’s around you, by your environment. People can get sent to a lockdown facility but there you’re not gonna get the things that you get at Pettygrove, you’re just gonna get locked in a cell and that doesn’t help. At Pettygrove you’re meeting friends, learning skills, learning how to be in a community, having opportunities like this to tell our story and to make art and that’s really important.”
Ashley was just seventeen and still finishing high school when she learned that she was pregnant.
At first, she considered parenting her expected infant. But after careful consideration, Ashley decided she was not prepared. At Boys & Girls Aid, Ashley met Karen, one of our adoption counselors. Together they talked about the kind of family in which Ashley wanted her child to grow up. Ashley hoped for a family that would be willing to develop a relationship with her throughout the pregnancy. She also asked for an unconventional family. She described her perfect family as “out of the box.”
The Mitchells were a natural match. An artistic, creative, professional family, the Mitchells shared Ashley’s desire for an ongoing relationship. Months before the baby’s birth, Ashley and the Mitchells began seeing each other. They shared trips to the pre-natal clinic visited each other’s homes. When baby Nathan was born in the spring, the Mitchells camped out throughout the labor in the hospital waiting room.
Today, Ashley and the Mitchells continue to keep in touch with a very open, mutually supportive relationship. Ashley joined the Mitchells for Nathan’s first Halloween and when Ashley walked at her high school graduation, the Mitchells were there in the audience, cheering her on.