Boys and Girls Aid


Your Pregnancy Options

We’ll support your decision, whatever it may be.

Any woman can find herself facing an unplanned pregnancy. Some are ready to start their families. For others, the emotions are more complex, or even worrisome. Now that you know you’re pregnant, you’re considering what options you have. Maybe you’re a teen facing your first pregnancy. You may already have children and aren’t sure you can provide for another child. You may discover that you don’t have the support of your partner. You may have the support of your family or you may feel alone. Whatever your situation is – we can help.

When you are faced with an unplanned pregnancy, it is important for you to know about all your options: parenting, adoption and abortion. Our compassionate counselors will help you explore your options and talk with you about the options of interest to you. You decide which option is best for you in your current situation. Boys & Girls Aid is a non-religious, nonprofit child welfare agency. We have no hidden agendas and we are fully committed to helping you make an informed decision about your pregnancy. Above all, this decision is yours.

We can provide you with materials to assist you in your decision-making process. You can even talk with someone who has gone through a similar experience. Our goal is for you to make an informed decision about your pregnancy. We know that whatever decision you make, it won’t be an easy one.
When you have made a decision, you can count on our support 100%. If you make a parenting or abortion plan, we can connect you with the community resources that you may need. If you choose adoption, we will help guide you through the adoption process and will be with you before, during, and after the birth.

To speak to a counselor right now (any time, day or night) call us at 503.542.2392 or toll free at 877.932.2734. Or you can send us a message using the form below. Our services to you are always free of charge and completely confidential.

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Adoption - is it right for me?

Adoption can be a good decision.

Thinking about adoption as one of your pregnancy options takes a great deal of courage. We appreciate the fact that you want to know more before making a decision about your pregnancy. Considering adoption doesn’t mean that you don’t care about your child. It does mean that you are responsibly thinking about all possible options. Adoption isn’t the right decision for everyone, but could it be right for you?

Today’s adoptions are very different from what you may think. Adoptions in years past were often secretive and birthparents rarely had contact with their child or the adoptive family. Today, you have many more options and opportunities.

Your Rights

At Boys & Girls Aid, we believe:

  • You have the right to make your decision without pressure
  • You have the right to confidentiality
  • You have the right to choose the family who will adopt your child
  • You have the right to choose to have ongoing contact with the adoptive family
  • You have the right to talk with women who have gone through similar experiences

If you choose to make an adoption plan, we realize that you have choices. So what can you expect if you choose adoption with Boys & Girls Aid?

You have help along the way

Our counselors are here to support you each step of the way.

  • Your counselor is available to you throughout the adoption process
  • You decide how much support you would like your counselor to provide
  • Your counselor will support you by communicating with the birthfather, your family, and anyone else you choose to involve

This is your life, your decision

You have the ability to make the best decisions for yourself and your child. Your voice will be heard and not judged. Your wishes will be respected.

  • You can choose the adoptive family for your child from our carefully screened and approved families. Here are some of our current waiting families.
  • While we encourage openness in adoptions, you can decide how much and what kind of contact you have with the adoptive family and your child
  • We welcome the important people in your life to be involved in this journey
  • Birthfather involvement is encouraged, but we understand that this may not always be an option

Providing for your needs

We can supply financial support as needed during your pregnancy and up to three months after your child is placed with the adoptive family. This may include:

  • Medical expenses
  • Rent and utilities
  • Food and clothing
  • Transportation

You can have peace of mind

We have been placing children in adoptive homes for more than 120 years. You can take comfort in knowing that you and your child will be cared for by experienced and compassionate counselors.

  • All adoptive families are qualified and fully screened
  • Your privacy and the information you share with us will be respected
  • We understand adoption law and will make a safe and legal placement

You can stay connected

Our staff is here to help facilitate contact with the adoptive family for years to come. Post-adoption services may include:

  • Letter and picture exchanges
  • Contact with the adoptive family
  • Arrangements for family visits

Making an adoption plan

You may be wondering what is included in making an adoption plan. First, you will meet with a counselor to talk about your pregnancy options. You can meet with her as many times as you would like. You can choose to involve the birthfather or any of the important people in your life.

If you decide to make an adoption plan, you will give your counselor some background information and you will discuss what is most important to you in choosing an adoptive family. You can also talk with her about your likes and dislikes and any other information you feel is important for her to know. As you progress in your pregnancy, your counselor will provide you with adoptive family profiles. You choose the family that you feel is the best match. You will have the opportunity to meet the adoptive family if you choose. Here are some of our current waiting families.

A few weeks before you give birth, you will make a hospital plan with your counselor. This will outline your wishes and desires surrounding the birth and entrustment of your child to the adoptive family. You will also decide the amount of openness, or contact, with the adoptive family. There are different levels of openness. You may decide to stay in touch by exchanging letters or pictures, or you may decide to meet periodically. You and the adoptive family will determine the amount of openness that works best for everyone.

It may help to hear about other birth family and adoptive family experiences. Click on the stories below for more information.

  • Becca and Mike’s story
  • Ashley’s story
  • The Garcia’s story
  • The Goldberg’s story

Adoption Frequently Asked Questions

Do you have questions about adoption? We have answers.

Many people have lots of questions about how adoption can work for them, and following are answers to the most common ones. If you have other questions that are not answered below, please feel free to call us at 1.877.932.2734 x2392 or ask your adoption question here.

Does it cost anything to meet with you?

No. All services to birthparents are free of charge.

What if I am not sure that adoption is the right choice for me?

Our counselors can help you decide whether parenting, adoption or abortion is best for you. They have accurate information about all three options. If you choose to make a parenting or abortion plan, your counselor can provide you with referrals to community organizations that offer assistance with the option you choose. Boys & Girls Aid is an all-options agency and believes that you have the right to choose the plan that best suits your needs. However, we will only discuss the options you are interested in exploring.

Someone told me that if I choose adoption, that means I don’t care about my child. Is that true?

Absolutely not. Every woman must make the decision that is best for her and her child. For some women, that may mean making a parenting plan. For other women, that means making an adoption plan. Adoption is not an easy decision, and you will feel sadness afterward. Women choose to make an adoption plan for a number of reasons. You may be concerned that you don’t have the resources to care for your child. You may have education or career plans that would be changed by parenting a child right now. You may already have children and aren’t sure you can provide for another child. Whatever your reasons are, adoption is not a decision that is made lightly. Although it isn’t right for everyone, adoption can be a very good decision. In the words of one birthmother, “It takes a lot more love to plan an adoption. Even though it’s been hard, I’ve never been sorry. Not once.”

What is open adoption?

Open adoption is when there is some information or contact between the birthparent(s) and adoptive family. There are different levels of openness, and there is no right or wrong open adoption plan. Openness can include choosing the adoptive family, having contact with the family before and during birth, talking with the family on the phone or through email, receiving letters and/or pictures as your child grows up, or having visits with the adoptive family and your child. Openness gives you the opportunity to know your child and the adoptive family. It allows you to be part of your child’s life.

Who do I need to involve in this process?

Regarding your family and friends: You can involve anyone you want. If you would like support from your family and friends, they are welcome to be part of this plan with you. If you don’t want others to be involved, that is also your choice. You are considered legally emancipated by the state of Oregon from your parents when it comes to making decisions about your pregnancy.

Regarding the birthfather: We encourage birthfather participation whenever possible. However, every situation is different, and we will work with you to arrange a level of involvement with the birthfather that is comfortable for you as well as legally appropriate. In Oregon, you may choose not to involve the birthfather at all unless he has done certain things required by Oregon law to show that he is the father. If the birthfather is married to you, he is considered a legal father, and an adoption cannot happen without his consent (except in certain circumstances). If the birthfather is participating in the adoption plan, he may receive many of the same services as you do. Boys & Girls Aid believes that it is generally best to have the birthfather involved, particularly for his consent to the adoption and to obtain medical history from him. Note: This is only a brief overview of birthfather legal issues. Your counselor will discuss your situation further with you.

Can I keep things confidential?

All services are confidential. Only non-identifying information about adoptive families and birthparents will be shared with either party as part of the adoption process. We will not share identifying information at any time without your permission to do so. If you choose an open adoption, you can decide whether to share identifying information directly with the adoptive family.

What do you need to know about the birthfather?

We encourage birthfather participation and would like as much information as possible about him. If he is participating in the planning process, he will fill out many of the same papers as you do. If he is not, we ask that you complete as much of them as you can. We can also send papers to the birthfather by mail if you prefer. Although we believe that it is ideal for both birthparents to be involved in the adoption of their child, we understand that everyone’s circumstances are different, and that birthfather involvement is not always possible.

What do you need to know about me?

We would like to know as much information as you are willing to share. You will meet with your counselor and talk about your medical history, general information about you and your family, and what you desire in an adoptive family. You may also talk about your interests and likes and dislikes. Above all, your counselor wants to know about you as a person, so she understands how to best support you throughout the adoption process.

How does the adoption process work?

Once you have decided that you would like to make an adoption plan, a birthparent counselor will meet with you to begin the adoption planning process. She will talk with you about what things are important to you in an adoptive family, help you plan for your time in the hospital and afterward, and help arrange for any medical and financial assistance you may need. She will also help you complete a medical history that will assist in deciding which of our adoptive families can best meet you and your baby’s needs.

When you have decided what you are looking for in an adoptive family and how much contact you want with them, your counselor will gather portfolios, or family books, designed by the adoptive families who best match your requests. You can look at the books and choose which family you would like to meet. After the meeting, you can decide how much more contact you would like before the birth, at the hospital, and after placement. Your counselor will be there to listen when you need someone to talk to about how you are feeling and can provide resources for outside counseling if needed.

What if I’ve used drugs or alcohol during the pregnancy?

It is important that you are honest with your counselor about any drugs or alcohol that you may have used at any time during the pregnancy. Your counselor will appreciate your honesty and will not judge you. We have families who will adopt a child that has been exposed to drugs and/or alcohol. It is important for the family that you choose to know, so they are prepared for any needs that your child may have.

How much information will I get about the adoptive family?

Adoptive families make family books that contain many photos of the family, their home, and their activities. They also include letters from both parents describing themselves, how they feel about parenting, adoption, openness, and each other. The last page of the book is a summary containing basic information such as length of marriage, hobbies, favorite things, and other general facts. If there are specific questions you have about the adoptive family, you can ask your counselor or the family themselves. Most adoptive families and birthparents do not exchange their last names or addresses when first meeting, but some choose to do so as they get to know each other better. Here are some of our current waiting families.

Sometimes birthparents insist that the adoptive parents be of a certain race. Our agency follows the requirements of the Multi-Ethnic Placement Act. Therefore, we cannot deny or delay a child’s adoptive placement due to the child’s race or due to race of the prospective adoptive parents. However, we do try to recruit families of all cultural and ethnic backgrounds.

What does the adoptive family get to know about me?

The family will receive a detailed medical history completed by you. We will also try to give them a description of you and your personality, what your interests are, and why you are planning an adoption. You may have other information that you want to share with them. Most adoptive families appreciate having a picture of the you (and the birthfather, if applicable), a letter to the child explaining your decision to seek an adoptive home and your feelings about him or her, and anything else that you choose to include that helps the child to know you. The more information you are willing to provide, the better.

Will my child be placed outside of Oregon or Washington?

Not in most cases. Boys & Girls Aid works only with Oregon and Washington adoptive families. In some special instances, we may need to recruit a family from elsewhere in order to best meet the needs of your child. Remember, ultimately it is your decision regarding who to place your child with, and he/she won’t be placed in a location that you don’t approve of.

What happens at the hospital?

You decide who you would like to have with you for the birth and how much time you spend with your baby. We encourage you to spend as much time as you need with your baby prior to placement. Some birthparents choose to keep the baby in the room with them, while others prefer that the baby stay in the nursery or with the adoptive family.

It is up to you to decide when you are comfortable having the adoptive family come to the hospital. Some birthparents ask the adoptive family to visit them and/or the baby in the hospital. Some ask the family to be at the hospital while giving birth. Occasionally birthparents prefer not to see the family after the birth and will leave the hospital before the families’ arrival. The timing and degree of adoptive family involvement and visits varies and is based entirely on your wishes.
Adoption placement papers are generally signed when you are going to be released from the hospital, usually 24 to 48 hours after the birth. The baby will go home with the adoptive parents from the hospital.

Can I name my baby?

Yes. The name you choose will be on the original birth certificate. If you do not choose a name, the birth certificate will simply state Baby Boy or Baby Girl. The adoptive family will also choose a name that will be put on a new birth certificate after the legal finalization of the adoption. Sometimes, adoptive families choose to incorporate part of your chosen name with theirs, such as a middle name. Sometimes, a name is chosen together.

How much contact can I have with the adoptive family before and after the placement?

The amount of contact is up to you and the adoptive parents to decide. All of our adoptive families are willing to meet you before the placement, at the placement, and after the placement. All our families respect your decision to make an adoption plan and desire a relationship with you. Some birthparents desire a close relationship with the adoptive family while others prefer to exchange letters and pictures until the child is old enough to decide if he or she would like to meet you. Remember that it is up to you which family you choose. Your contract is legally binding so that whatever types and amounts of contact you choose is guaranteed.

Is contact with the child and adoptive family after the placement good for the child?

We believe that it is very important for children to know where they came from. Adopted children often wonder: “Who do I look like?” “Why didn’t they keep me?” and “Do they still care about me?” Open adoptions allow the person with the answers to those questions (you and possibly the birthfather) to be present in the child’s life. Whether you choose to provide those answers through pictures, letters, gifts and/or meetings is up to you and the adoptive family. The decision to have contact and how much contact always should be made with keeping your child’s best interests in mind.

What if I decide not to plan an adoption?

There is no requirement that you follow through with an adoption plan. You need to make the decision that feels the best for you. Your counselor is working only with you – not the adoptive family – and she wants you to make the decision that you are most comfortable with. If you choose to parent, you will not be looked down on or viewed negatively. Your counselor can help you think through the options you have, and make the plan that is best for you. You can change your mind up until the time that the baby has been born and you sign the adoption documents.

What if I change my mind after placement?

It is important that you be absolutely sure that you wish to complete your adoption plan before you sign the legal consents to adoption. You cannot sign legal papers until after your baby is born, although the birthfather can in certain situations. Once you have signed legal papers and the child has been physically placed with the adoptive family, you cannot change your decision.

Your counselor will encourage you to rethink your adoption plan throughout the process and again prior to signing legal papers to make sure that it is still the right choice for you. Your counselor will not have you sign the legal paperwork unless you are completely sure that adoption is the right decision for you and your child. Boys & Girls Aid fully supports your right to change your mind prior to the placement of your child with the adoptive family.

Why should I choose Boys & Girls Aid? 

Boys & Girls Aid has been involved in adoption work for over 120 years. We have decades of experience with the changing trends in adoption and a deep respect for the birthparent and adoptive families involved. You will have the security of knowing that the family you select has been thoroughly evaluated in terms of emotional and financial stability, readiness to parent, and understanding of adoption.

Since birthparents and adoptive families have separate counselors, you can rest assured that your information is kept confidential. Your counselor will always be looking out for your best interests.

We believe that birthparents and adoptive families must design the adoption plan that works best for them. We do not require that they be done in a certain way. It is your choice what type of adoption plan you create for your child, what type of family you select, what happens at the hospital, and the amount and type of contact you would like to have with your child as he/she grows up.

We are a founding member of The Child Welfare League of America and we are accredited by CARF International, in addition to being licensed by the states of Oregon and Washington. We are a child welfare agency and you and your child’s best interests are always our primary concern.

 

Birthfathers and Adoption

Be a Part of Your Child’s Future

Did you know that birthfathers can be part of the adoption process?

In today’s adoptions, birthfathers are encouraged to participate, even if they are not in a permanent relationship with the birthmother. Planned adoptions are designed for the best possible outcome for the child, and can include arrangements for contact between you and your child through the years to come.
Adoption is a good decision for some – one that isn’t made lightly – and we will always treat you with dignity and respect.

You have help along the way

We believe that having a true understanding about today’s adoptions will help you and the birthmother to make the best choice for you and for your child. A compassionate team of counselors is here to support you and the birthmother each step of the way.

You may be able to assist the birthmother in choosing the adoptive home for your child from our carefully screened and approved families. We encourage openness in adoption, but you can make a plan that works for you. You can sign a separate agreement and have a different amount of contact with your child than the birthmother. You can also choose to have no contact.

You can have peace of mind

We have been placing children in adoptive homes for more than 120 years. You can take comfort in knowing that you, the birthmother, and your child will be cared for by experienced and compassionate counselors.

  • All adoptive families are qualified and fully screened
  • Your privacy and the information you share with us will be respected
  • We understand adoption law and will make a safe and legal placement

You can stay connected

Our staff is here to help facilitate contact with the adoptive family for years to come. Post-adoption services include:

  • Letter and picture exchanges
  • Contact with the adoptive family
  • Arrangements for family visits.

Even if you are no longer in a relationship with the birthmother, you may be able to have contact with your child and the adoptive family.

Making an Adoption Plan

You may be wondering what is included in making an adoption plan. First, you and the birthmother will meet with a counselor to talk about the pregnancy options. If you wish, you may also meet separately with a counselor. You and the birthmother may choose to involve any of the important people in your lives.
If you decide to make an adoption plan, you will give your counselor some background information and you will discuss what is most important to you in choosing an adoptive family. You can also talk with her about your likes and dislikes and any other information you feel is important for her to know. As the pregnancy progresses, your counselor will provide you with adoptive family profiles. You may assist the birthmother in choosing the family that you feel is the best match. Here are some of our current waiting families.

A few weeks before the birth, the birthmother will make a hospital plan with the counselor. This will outline her wishes and desires surrounding the birth. You and the birthmother will decide the amount of openness, or contact with the adoptive family. There are different levels of openness. You and the birthmother may choose to have different amounts of openness. You, the birthmother, and the adoptive family will determine the amounts of openness that work best for everyone involved.

It may help to hear about other birth and adoptive family experiences. Click on the stories below for more information.

  • Becca and Mike’s story
  • The Garcia’s story
  • The Goldberg’s story

 

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Preguntas más frecuentes de los Padres biológicos

Gracias por permitirnos darle más información acerca de la adopción. Muchas personas tienen una gran cantidad de preguntas acerca de cómo puede funcionar la adopción para ellos. Enseguida están algunas de las preguntas más comunes. Si usted tiene otras preguntas que no le fueron contestadas abajo, por favor siéntase en libertad de llamarnos al 1-877-932-2734 x2392 o pregúntele a la persona de la clínica que la esté atendiendo.

¿Cuesta algo tener una cita con ustedes?

No. Todos los servicios para los padres biológicos son sin costo alguno.

¿Qué pasa si no estoy segura que la adopción es lo indicado para mí?

Nuestros consejeros le pueden ayudar a decidir si criar, abortar o poner en adopción es lo mejor para usted. Ellos tienen información exacta acerca de las tres opciones y pueden referirla a programas que ofrecen ayuda en la opción que usted escoja. Boys & Girls Aid es una agencia que incluye todas las opciones y considera que usted tiene el derecho a escoger el plan que más se acomode a sus necesidades, sin embargo, nosotros solamente discutiremos las opciones que usted esté interesada en explorar.

¿A quién necesito incluir en el proceso? ¿Todo puede ser confidencial?

En lo que se refiere a su familia y amigos: Usted puede incluir a quien quiera. Si a usted le gustaría tener el apoyo de su familia y amigos, ellos son bienvenidos a ser parte de este plan junto con usted. Si no quiere que otros estén involucrados, esa también es su decisión. El Estado de Oregon la considera legalmente emancipada de sus padres cuando se trata de tomar una decisión acerca de su embarazo.

En lo que se refiere al padre biológico. Cuando es posible nosotros promovemos la participación del padre biológico, sin embargo, cada situación es diferente y nosotros trabajaremos con usted para hacer arreglos sobre el nivel de envolvimiento del padre biológico que le haga sentirse confortable y que también sea legalmente apropiado. En Oregon, usted puede optar por no involucrar al padre biológico en absoluto a menos que haya cumplido con ciertos requisitos legales para demostrar que él es el padre. Si el padre biológico está casado con usted, él es considerado ser el padre legal y una adopción no se puede efectuar sin su consentimiento (excepto en ciertas circunstancias). Si el padre biológico participa en el plan de adopción, él puede recibir todos los mismos servicios que usted reciba.

Boys & Girls Aid considera que generalmente es mejor obtener el consentimiento del padre biológico y obtener la historia médica de él. Nota: Este es un repaso general breve de las cuestiones legales del padre biológico. Su consejero discutirá más a fondo su situación en particular. Todos los servicios son confidenciales. Como parte del proceso de adopción, cierta información no-identificable acerca de los padres de adopción y los padres biológicos será compartida con cualquiera de las partes. Nosotros no compartiremos información identificable sin contar con su permiso primero. Si alguna información se va a compartir con personas fuera de Boys & Girls Aid, a usted se le pedirá que firme un Formulario para Revelar Información.

¿Qué necesitan saber acerca del padre biológico?

Nosotros promovemos la participación del padre biológico y nos gustaría tener la mayor información posible acerca de él. Si él está participando en el proceso, él tendrá que llenar muchos de los mismos papeles que usted tendrá que llenar. Si él no lo hace, nosotros le pediremos que usted los llene lo más completamente posible. Si prefiere, nosotros le podemos mandar por correo los papeles al padre biológico. A nosotros nos gustaría tener la mayor información posible acerca de él para cuando su niño/a esté grande. Aún cuando nosotros consideramos que sería ideal que ambos padres biológicos estuvieran involucrados en la adopción del niño/a, también entendemos que las circunstancias de cada quien son diferentes y que la participación del padre biológico no siempre es posible.

¿En qué forma funciona el proceso?

Una vez que usted decida que le gustaría saber más acerca de la adopción, una consejera se reunirá con usted para recabar más información y explicarle el proceso para el plan de adopción. Ella le ayudará a decidir qué cosas son importantes para usted en lo que se refiere a la familia adoptiva, le ayudará a planear su estancia en el hospital y después y le ayudará a hacer arreglos por cualquier asistencia médica y económica que usted necesite. Ella también le ayudará a completar una historia clínica que nos permitirá decidir qué familia adoptiva llenaría de mejor manera sus necesidades y las de su bebé. Cuando usted decida qué es lo que quiere para su bebé por parte de la familia adoptiva y cuánto contacto desea tener con ellos, su consejera le enseñará portafolios o libros para los padres biológicos diseñados por las familias adoptivas, que más se acomode a sus solicitudes. Usted puede escoger a qué familia le gustaría conocer. Si después de la reunión, tanto usted como la familia adoptiva sienten que se acoplaron bien, usted puede decir qué tanto contacto le gustaría tener con ellos durante su embarazo, en el hospital y después de la adopción. Su consejera estará a su disposición a través del proceso y cuando menos durante un año después de la colocación de su bebé, si usted necesita hablar con alguien acerca de cómo se siente.

¿Cuánta información se me dará acerca de la familia adoptiva?

Las familias adoptivas hacen Libros para los padres biológicos que contienen muchas fotografías de la familia, su casa y sus actividades. También incluye cartas de ambos padres describiéndose a así mismos, cómo se sienten acerca de ser padres, sobre la adopción, sobre si desean que sea abierta y sus sentimientos hacia uno y otro. La última página del libro es un resumen que contiene información básica tal como cuánto tiempo tienen de casados, sus actividades recreativas y otra información general. Si tiene preguntas específicas acerca de la familia adoptiva, usted le puede preguntar a su consejera o a la familia misma. Algunas veces los padres biológicos insisten en que los padres adoptivos sean de cierta raza. Nuestra agencia sigue los requerimientos de la ley de acomodo multiétnico, por esa razón nosotros no negaremos o atrasaremos la adopción de un niño debido a la raza del niño o a la raza de los prospectos padres adoptivos. Por esa razón nosotros quizá no podamos honrar su solicitud en lo referente a la raza, sin embargo nosotros tratamos de reclutar familias de todo tipo de grupos étnicos y culturas. La mayoría de las familias adoptivas y los padres biológicos no intercambian apellidos ni domicilios cuando se reúnen por primera vez, pero algunos lo hacen después de que se empiezan a conocer mejor. Algunas veces las familias adoptivas y los padres biológicos comienzan a platicar por teléfono antes y después del acomodo.

¿Qué va a saber la familia adoptiva acerca de mí?

La familia recibirá la historia médica detallada que usted haya llenado. Nosotros trataremos de darle una descripción acerca de usted y su personalidad, qué cosas le interesan a usted y por qué está planeando la adopción. Quizá usted tenga otra información que le gustaría compartir con ellos si es que se reúnen. A la mayoría de las familias adoptivas les gusta tener una fotografía de los padres biológicos, tener una carta para el bebé explicando su decisión de planear la adopción y cómo se siente acerca de ellos y cualquier otra cosa que le ayude a su bebé a conocerles. Mientras más información estén dispuestos a proporcionar, mejor.

¿Mi niño/a será colocado/a fuera de Oregon?

Por lo regular no. Boys & Girls Aid solamente trabaja con familias adoptivas en Oregon (y unas pocas en la parte suroeste del Estado de Washington). En algunas circunstancias especiales quizá tengamos que reclutar a una familia de algún otro lugar a fin de llenar las necesidades de su niño/a. Recuerde, usted es la persona que decide con quién se va a colocar a su niño/a, él/ella no se colocará en un lugar que usted no apruebe. Por supuesto nunca hay garantía de que la familia adoptiva permanecerá en Oregon por el resto de la vida del bebé, lo mismo puede suceder con usted.

¿Qué pasa en el hospital?

Usted es la que decide a quién le gustaría tener a la hora del parto y cuánto tiempo desea tener con su bebé. Nosotros recomendamos que usted pase todo el tiempo que necesite antes de colocar al niño/a con los padres adoptivos. Algunos padres biológicos optan por tener al bebé con ellos en el cuarto, mientras que otros prefieren que el bebé se quede en el cunero y se lo traigan cada vez que lo soliciten. Usted también es la que decide cuándo desea que vengan los padres adoptivos al hospital. La mayoría de los padres biológicos le piden a la familia adoptiva que venga a visitarlos a ellos y/o al bebé en el hospital, pero los tiempos varían. Ocasionalmente los padres biológicos prefieren no ver a la familia adoptiva después del nacimiento y se van del hospital antes de que la familia adoptiva llegue. Los papeles de acomodo de adopción por lo regular se firman cuando usted va a ser dada de alta del hospital, por lo general 24 a 48 horas después del nacimiento. Si usted siente que necesita más tiempo, nosotros tenemos a su disposición hogares amorosos de crianza temporal en donde se puede colocar al bebé con su permiso, de otra manera, el bebé se irá del hospital con los padres adoptivos.

¿Puedo escoger el nombre para mi bebé?

Sí. El nombre que usted escoja aparecerá en el acta de nacimiento original. Si usted no escoge el nombre, el acta de nacimiento simplemente dirá si el bebé es Niño o Niña. La familia adoptiva también escoge un nombre que se pondrá en el nuevo certificado de nacimiento después de finalizarse legamente la adopción. Algunas veces las familias adoptivas optan por incorporar parte del nombre que usted escogió junto con el de ellos, por ejemplo como segundo nombre. Otras veces escogen el nombre juntos.

¿Cuánto contacto puedo tener con la familia adoptiva antes y después de la colocación?

La cantidad del contacto es decisión de usted y de los padres adoptivos. Todas nuestras familias de adopción están dispuestas a conocerle antes de la colocación, a la hora de la colocación y cuando menos una vez después de la colocación y después con el intercambio de cartas/fotos con usted hasta que el niño/a tenga 18 años de edad. La mayoría, pero no todos, se sienten confortables de reunirse ocasionalmente cuando el niño/a es pequeño. Después de la infancia, existe una variación en el nivel de confort de las familias en lo que se refiere al contacto. Muchos están dispuestos a reunirse regularmente conforme el niño va creciendo; otros prefieren limitar el contacto a cartas, fotos y regalos hasta que el niño esté suficientemente grande para decidir lo que desea. Recuerde, usted es la que va a escoger a la familia y por esa razón, qué nivel de contacto se acomoda mejor para usted. El contacto con usted es un compromiso legal así que, el tipo y la cantidad de contacto que usted escoja está garantizado.

¿El contacto con el niño y la familia adoptiva después de la colocación es algo bueno para el niño?

Los expertos consideran que es muy importante para los niños saber de dónde vienen. Los niños adoptivos muchas veces se preguntan “¿A quién me parezco?”. “¿Por qué no se quedaron conmigo?” y “¿Todavía se preocupan por mí?” Las adopciones abiertas permiten que la persona con las respuestas a estas preguntas (los padres biológicos) estén presentes en la vida del niño. Ya sea que usted opte por proporcionar esas respuestas a través de fotos, cartas y/o regalos o a través de reuniones, es decisión de usted y la familia adoptiva. Puede ser que algunas veces durante la vida del niño/a, él/ella necesite más o menos contacto. Por supuesto, es importante que todos estén muy claros acerca de sus roles y tener en mente lo mejor para el niño.

¿Qué tal si yo decido no planear una adopción?

No es obligación que usted siga el plan de adopción. Usted necesita tomar la decisión que sienta es la mejor para usted. Si decide criar a su niño/a, no se le pedirá que pague de regreso cualquier ayuda que se le haya dado, sin embargo, si después del parto y antes de ponerlo en adopción decide criar a su bebé, usted será responsable de pagar sus propias cuentas de hospital y las de su bebé. Nosotros haremos todo lo posible por ayudarle a tener éxito como madre y a conectarla con los servicios que necesite.

¿Qué pasa si cambio de parecer después de la colocación?

Es importante que usted esté absolutamente segura que desea completar el plan de adopción antes de firmar los consentimientos legales para la adopción. Usted no puede firmar papeles legales sino hasta después de que haya nacido el bebé, aunque en ciertas situaciones el padre biológico sí lo puede hacer. Una vez haya firmado los papeles legales y el niño haya sido colocado físicamente con la familia adoptiva, usted no puede cambiar su decisión a menos que pueda comprobarle a un juez que a usted se le forzó firmar los papeles, que usted no estaba en posición de entender las consecuencias de su decisión o que se cometió un fraude. A través del proceso su consejera le pedirá que vuelva a pensar si quiere seguir con el plan de adopción y de nuevo antes de firmar los papeles legales, para estar seguros que esta es la decisión correcta para usted. Boys & Girls Aid respeta completamente su derecho a cambiar de opinión antes de colocar al niño.

¿Por qué debo escoger a Boys & Girls Aid?

Boys & Girls Aid ha estado participando en el trabajo de adopciones durante más de 100 años. Nosotros tenemos mucha experiencia en los cambios en las adopciones y tenemos un profundo respeto por los padres biológicos y las familias adoptivas. Usted tendrá la seguridad de saber que la familia que selecciones ha sido estudiada completamente en lo que se refiere a la estabilidad emocional y económica, su preparación para ser padres y su entendimiento sobre la adopción.

Nosotros consideramos que las personas que están involucradas en adopciones deben diseñar los planes que mejor se ajusten a ellos y no requerimos que lo hagan de cierta manera. Es decisión suya qué tipo de plan de adopción va a desarrollar para su niño/a.

Nosotros respetamos el derecho de los padres biológicos de cambiar de opinión antes del acomodo y no deseamos complicar la decisión con la preocupación de que tienen que pagar de regreso la ayuda que ya se les dio.

Además de contar con la licencia del Estado, nosotros somos miembros fundadores de The Child Welfare League of America y hemos recibido acreditación por parte de Council on Accreditation and the Commission on Accreditation of Rehabilitation Facilities. Lo que todo esto significa es que somos una agencia de bienestar de niños y que nuestro interés principal es proporcionar lo mejor para su niño.


Printed Saturday, July 31, 2010 - 3:50:56

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