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Waiting Families

Carly and Justin

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Dear Birthparents,

Our names are Justin and Carly. First and foremost, we would like to thank you for giving us and other couples the opportunity to do what we have dreamt of doing all of our lives, to parent. The decision you make whether to parent yourself or choose adoption is insurmountable and we admire your courage and desire to want what is best for yourself and your baby. Without you, people like ourselves would never be able to have a child of our own and for that we are eternally grateful. We know each family is unique, as are we, but what we do share with all parents-to-be is the love and compassion necessary for a healthy, happy baby and a loving family. Regardless of your decision with us, we think it is so noble that you would think about giving someone the gift of parenting.

We first met in 2004 while Justin’s band was on tour in Southern California. We had numerous mutual friends, since we both had interest in the same music scene, and we became best friends in a matter of no time. A couple of short years later, Carly moved from New York City to Portland in a cross country drive that we made together. Shortly after that move, we were both single at the same time for the first time, and we finally realized what most people around us had already figured out; that we were deeply in love with one another and that a relationship was inevitable. We started dating and fell deeply in love and soon our relationship included marriage. We got married on the waterfront in Portland, Oregon almost four years ago and continue to live in Portland close to Justin’s family. Our house includes our best pal Ambrose, an 11 year old pug with the best intentions but the worst snoring we have ever heard from a four legged friend.

Two years into our marriage we eagerly started trying to have a biological child. Quickly, Carly got pregnant and just as quickly, she lost the pregnancy. Eight miscarriages and no answers later, we were at a loss. No Dr. was able to explain why this was happening to us and every test we took came back inconclusive. Due to the overwhelming emotions and disappointment that came with every pregnancy, we decided to stop trying to on our own and chose adoption. Justin soon got a vasectomy to ensure that Carly wouldn’t have to go through any more physical trauma, since she was getting pregnant so easily. Soon we decided on adoption knowing it was the right path for us to take. The journey to get to this point has been hard and heartbreaking but also eye opening. Through the hard times we came out with a love and understanding for each other that many couples never reach. Now we are able to stop grieving the past and are ready to move forward with a bright, positive and exciting future knowing that a child is out there for us.

Justin’s thoughts about Carly: Carly is the greatest person that I’ve ever met throughout my life, and I feel very lucky that we were able to become such close friends before we ever even started dating. She’s caring, smart and extremely passionate. I know that any child coming into our home will be very fortunate to have Carly as a mother. They will certainly be fed well too. Carly is an amazing cook (soon to be published!), and I have never eaten as well as I have during our time together.

Carly’s thoughts about Justin: Justin is an amazingly loyal, intelligent and selfless person. He always puts the people he loves before himself. His parents have been in a happy marriage for over 30 years now and that has been a great tool for him to grow up loving, respectful of others and compassionate. When I see him with our two year old Niece, I can see just how great of a father he will be one day.

We are both very close with our families and because of that we know how important relationships can be. We hope that a respectful, open relationship can be established and maintained over the course of the child’s life by utilizing a few visits a year, and keeping an open dialogue through emails and pictures. Such openness should be beneficial for everyone, but especially the child. We both eagerly want to welcome a child into our home and be the kind of loving parents that we were both blessed to grow up with. We have passions for music, food and far more that we would love to share with a child as they grow up.

We wish you the best in your decision and while we will never know what you are going through, we want you to know that we are grateful for people like you and your willingness to consider adoption. Without people like you we might never have a reason to buy that little play kitchen or child sized baseball glove, but more importantly we would not have a family of our own to love eternally.

Sincerely,
Justin and Carly