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Waiting Families

Mikal and Irena

Mikal and Irena

Hello, I am writing this letter in the hopes of sharing a little bit about me and my journey with Irena, and that it is helpful to you at this time in your journey. You and your unique story are unknown to me, but I am grateful that you are looking at our family book. And I hope that where ever your journey leads you, it is your desire.

First a bit about me: I grew up in Los Angeles with my Mom, Dad, brother and sister. My siblings are quite a bit older than me (9 and 11 years) so I feel like I had an only-child experience growing up. However, we are close now that we are all adults and I value them tremendously. While my parents divorced when I was 11, they remained amicable and I stayed living in the same house and had an otherwise very stable childhood. I loved soccer and played from age 6 – 16. I also loved music and art and played the piano or made crafts/art whenever I could. I still love sports/being active, music and art! In my early 20’s I even made a go at becoming a rock star and was in several bands. While I had a lot of fun, none of them were very successful.

After a career in the Human Resources field for several non-profit agencies, I again decided to pursue a creative career and put all my time and resources into learning how to tattoo. I had always loved tattoos and already had a bunch, so merging my love for tattoos and art was a naturally good fit. I have been tattooing ever since and now co-own a shop with a business partner and work with 4 other awesome artists. I love what I do and hope to tattoo until my hands fall off! Some of my other favorite hobbies and likes are restoring and riding vintage bicycles, running (I am training for my first 1/2 marathon!) and other fitness activities, cooking, my motorcycle and most of all, spending time with my family.

Now about Irena and our relationship: She is the love of my life and I am very lucky to have such an amazing partner in the world! She is smart, funny, caring, loving, responsible, patient, honest and genuine. We have gone through big changes like relocating to Oregon, changing careers/jobs and buying a house with ease and grace: we have a very easy way and calmness about us. I am so excited to grow our family together and see her parent! I have no doubt that she will be an attentive, nurturing and fun mom. I have such a wonderful home and life with her, our furry family and friend “framily” that I can’t wait to share with the right little spirit.

Together, we decided early on in our family building process to consider adoption. We were both already committed to openness in family building, so an open adoption is right for us. I would not have it any other way. There will be challenges, but with love, communication and honesty those issues can be navigated. I see it as a benefit that our child’s unique story will include an extended family rooting for them through life.

Lastly, I would like to express to you that I am very ready and excited to be a parent! One of my greatest strengths is my duality of being a big goof ball who loves to joke around and have fun, while also being very stable, grounded and strong. I have an endless well of patience and love ready to give our child.

I wish you peace in making whatever decision is best for you and your child. Thank you.
-Mikal

Hello! Well, I don’t think it’s going to be possible for me to tell you everything that I want to say to you in the next few paragraphs, so the best I can hope for is that you get a little bit of a sense about me, our family, and our ideas about adoption. I hope that you have all the support and love you need and that you feel empowered, honored and at peace with whatever choices you make along your path.

It’s easy for me to talk about Mikal, so I’ll start there. By the end of our second date in early 2006, we were both pretty sure we’d found our “person in the world,” and we were right! You would not think that someone with so many tattoos and who loves riding vintage bicycles would also be a successful business owner and have what our loan officer described as the “second best credit score she’d ever seen,” but it’s true. So not only is she fun, funny, smart and cute, but it turns out she is also incredibly stable, steady, and dependable – a combination so rare and precious that I often joke how I married a unicorn! Watching her in the world – with kids, with animals, at work, with our two rescue pups – fills me with so much joy, and I can’t wait for the opportunity to parent with her.

Some things that I like include: Mikal, our two small dogs Lucky and Fifi, science, my career supporting low-income families in their financial goals at a local non-profit, gardening (after almost four years in our house I think I am finally growing more vegetables than weeds!), tidepools, a good cry over ridiculous sad music, learning how to be a better person in the world every day, our home, laughing, being honest even when it’s hard, photography, easy summer hikes through the woods, and not taking myself too seriously.

As a family, Mikal and I bring a lot of strength, self-knowledge, and respect (for our selves, each other, and others in our lives) to the table. We will not be perfect parents but we know how to be accountable when we mess up, how to learn from it, and how to do it better next time. I have learned so much about myself, about honesty and commitment and communication, about how to listen, and about authenticity and love from Mikal, from my friends and family, and from learning to listen to my own heart that I am truly ready for the adventure of being an adoptive parent.*We both have flexible work schedules, and both plan to be home (full or part time) for at least the first several months. My work is extremely family-friendly, and allows babies up to 6 months to come to work several days a week. After that, we will transition into a regular work schedule of 4 days a week each and plan to have in-home care for about 15 hours a week. We have family in the area who are excited to be a part of our child-care plans too.

Openness is extremely important to me. I believe that a truly open adoption is the best way to support an adopted child in growing up with an integrated sense of self that honors their unique identity as a child of many families. I welcome our kid’s family of origin as an important part of our own extended family, and look forward to continued contact and sharing the experience of loving and supporting our kid as they grow up. A member of my family was placed in the era of closed adoptions; we still have not found them and the sadness that I feel about this definitely confirms my commitment to an open and connected adoption.

I hope this letter can help you figure out if you want to know more about us. Thank you for reading our letters and taking a look at our book. Thank you.
-Irena