Better Than in the Movies: Selena’s Adoption Story

Selena does not remember the first time her parents told her she was adopted, because it was never kept a secret. She is asked about it often, and people are always surprised.

“They expect it to be like on a TV show or the movies where someone sits you down and says, ‘We need to tell you something,’ but I just always knew,” Selena said.

Selena’s parents were college sweethearts who tried for years to have a child. Her mother had a medical condition that caused her to be unable to get pregnant. The couple decided that adoption would be the best option to grow their family, and they began working with Boys & Girls Aid.

First, they welcomed a baby boy into their family. Two years later, they were ready for another child and returned to Boys & Girls Aid. They interviewed with a couple who were pregnant but knew it was not the right time for them to parent a child. They were chosen and soon had a daughter, Selena. The birth parents wrote a note to Selena and her parents in which they said they knew this was the right thing to do and that they had no regrets.

“I had the best childhood,” Selena said.

She recalls going to the beach a lot when she was younger. Every summer, her family and all her cousins would have a beach trip, complete with a family golf tournament.

Selena has a huge family on both her dad’s Italian side and her mom’s Hawaiian and Filipino side. Everyone is very close and spends a lot of time together, getting together most weekends, holidays, and any other excuse they can come up with to be together.

“Family gives you a village of people that support you. You always have someone to go to,” Selena said.

Selena’s family has never treated her any differently because of her adoption, and she has never felt like she didn’t belong. Adoption was talked about openly in their home. Selena remembers her parents reading her the book “Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born,” a book that celebrates adoption.

Being open and honest is key to a healthy relationship between adoptive parents and their child, Selena said. It’s important to have trust on both sides. Selena said she has a great relationship with her parents, who set a good foundation in life for her and her brother.

“My parents are my best friends,” Selena said. “I would love to spend all my time with them. I tell them everything.”

Selena doesn’t know much about her birth parents besides their first names and some basic medical information. She recently took an at-home DNA kit to learn more about her health background.

Someday, Selena thinks she will want to know more about her birth parents, but she’s not ready yet. She said it would be interesting to meet them and learn about their lives. When she decides to start this process, she wants her parents to be there to support her throughout it.

“I think that would be a really beautiful thing to experience,” Selena shared.

For now, Selena is happy and thriving, and her incredible bond with her parents is growing stronger every day.