A Family is Who You Choose
Kendra and Ryan always knew that they wanted to adopt when it was time to grow their family. They believe that family doesn’t depend on genetics or resemblance.
“Why make new children when there are children ready to be adopted?” Kendra said.
Kendra and Ryan wanted to adopt a child with Down syndrome, so they began the adoption process by registering with the National Down Syndrome Adoption Network. After waiting about four months, they heard about a one-month-old baby girl in Washington whose birth parents were working on an adoption plan, and they immediately submitted their profile to be considered.
Four days later, they got a call and heard “Congratulations Mom and Dad!” Within an hour they were driving from their home in Utah to Washington. The birth parents happened to be working with an adoption specialist named Karen from Boys & Girls Aid.
“We quickly learned that BGA was a caring, ethical, and inclusive agency. Both NDSAN and BGA made this process, which felt overwhelming at first, as straightforward as it could be,” Kendra said.
The couple met the birth parents at their home and held their baby girl, Fern, for the first time. The meeting was emotional and overwhelming, but Karen was there to help the whole time.
“We are so grateful to Karen, and to Fern's birth parents, for sharing that experience.”
The couple had to stay in Washington until the paperwork cleared about a week later. The only complication was that Kendra was scheduled to take her pediatric board exams that week. She was able to arrange to take them in Spokane instead of Salt Lake City. Despite (or because of) the distraction of an adorable one-month-old waiting outside, Kendra finished the exam in record time—and even managed to pass! That same day, the family was on their way home to Utah.
“We remember stepping over the threshold of our house holding Fern, amazed that two weeks earlier we hadn't even known she existed. Now, we thought, we couldn't imagine living without her,” they said.
Now, Fern is a dynamic and curious 6-year-old who brings joy to her family every day.
“In the span of a day, she can be gleeful and disheartened, full of energy and exhausted, all grown up and more dependent. Our family wouldn't be our family without her,” Kendra said.
The family, who have relocated from the mountains to the city, like to ski, hike, camp, explore, take walks, play at the park and try new restaurants together. But just as fun is staying home working on an art project, reading books, watching movies or cooking together.
Kendra, Ryan and Fern are considering another move, and potentially adding a sibling or two to the family. During the adoption process, they’ve learned to be flexible and embrace opportunities. They would encourage people who are considering adoption to let go of expectations from others and yourself and to be open and recognize that a family is something you choose.
“We've learned that we don't know what our family will end up looking like, but that it'll be just right in the end. This is not because ‘everything happens for a reason,’ but rather because love and family can accommodate a great many things.“